I had to laugh as I was typing the title of this post, mostly because I am a sleep deprived fool right now and actually had to check in with myself to confirm that yes, one plus one does, in fact, equal two.

I am typing out this post quickly now that both of my girls have gone to sleep to let you know of a couple of fun giveaways I am involved in.

Shutter Sister Chris Sneddon lovingly put together a truly beautiful and moving video celebrating their One Word Project. I not only contributed to the video, but as a complement to this project am giving away one custom Bella Wish Word-of-the-Year necklace to one lucky winner.

This is the third year I am offering these special pendants and it’s so fun for me to see returning lovelies order their new words, sharing their stories and intentions behind these words and wearing them all year… or as a charm bracelet with all of their words collected as a few are doing.

Visit the Shutter Sisters site to enter, this giveaway ends tomorrow January 25th at midnight so that is why I am typing this quickly!

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The second giveaway is for a spot in the wishBIG ecamp which will be held February 19th-26th where I along with amazing souls Connie Hozvicka, Chris Zydel, Amy Palko, Miranda Hersey, Jenna McGuiggan, Rachel Awes, and Wish Studio founder and creator Mindy Tsonas will be leading a soulful journey into heart and art.

I love Mindy’s model for creating a co-op payment option which makes this camp (and any other Wish Studio offerings) free for members.

Your week at ecamp will include:

• 8 (2 hour) online creative living workshops from a host of fabulously inspiring Camp Counselors, each bringing their own special talent and insight to help you wishBIG, createBIG and liveBIG!
• daily ecamp mail! Inspiration Postcards (sent via email) created especially for YOU by our talented teachers for a little extra creative spark, each day of camp.
• evening campfire gatherings designed specially for the group and the work at hand! these fun and inspirational nightly gatherings are created from what comes up specifically for us as a group… i tune into the thoughts and activity of each day and thoughtfully carve out space for a relevant community discussion. these tend to be intimate, powerful and wonderfully connective whether you sit in the circle quietly or dive deeply into the conversation.
• supportive kindred community with our own private group for sharing thoughts and work throughout your camp experience, as well as individual support and cheering from each of our ecamp Counselors within their workshop and beyond.
• an easy, go-at-your-own-pace format that allows you to work through the workshops in a way that best meets your needs. all classes will be available online for one month, and are self paced.

My workshop, 100 Steps Photowalk – A Journey Into Seeing, is one that is very close to my heart and I am so excited to be offering the online version to wishBIG ecampers. It is based on the 100 steps photowalk exercise that I wrote about here and here and has since become a tool I use to awaken to the quiet beauty in my ordinary moments or when I am struggling to see the beauty surrounding me, (i.e. in a Costco parking lot for example). I’ve been starting to lead small photo walk groups offline and am over the moon excited to share more about these soon.

To enter to win a space at ecamp simply leave a comment here telling me one of your biggest wishes. I will be accepting comments until January 31st and will announce the winner on February 1st. Good luck and wish big!

Early this year, after much technology-related headache, I released my Bella Wish Guide to Hand Stamping. I started my business Bella Wish in late summer of 2008 and taught myself how to hand stamp on metal. There wasn’t a lot of information to be found back then and I spent countless hours teaching myself, mostly through trial and error, what to do… and more importantly what not to do. After receiving many inquiries about where I purchase supplies and how I create some of my necklaces, I decided to put all of that information together in one place.

This was a labor of love for me that began sometime over the 2011 summer and was created over the course of six months in those stolen moments of being a work at home parent. Just like my shop, my photography and my writing, putting together this guide fed my creative hunger that was also re-birthed from becoming a mama. In some ways that creative part of me feels separate from motherhood, but I realize it’s not separate at all, it’s so very connected. But that is an entirely different post for another day. Bella Wish was born from my heart and this guide is an extension of my heart.

At first, the thought of offering everything I knew about hand stamping seemed a bit scary – not so much for me, but for others. When I would share that I was putting together this guide, some people asked a lot of good questions. Why would I want to just give away all those hours of work I put in and teach others to make what I was already making. Wasn’t I scared to lose business by doing so? And didn’t that worry me?

These thoughts never occurred to me until people started asking. But my answer remained the same – I truly believe there is room for each of us. We each have something unique to offer. This is the beauty of creating – the world needs our vision. We all benefit when this happens. Why wouldn’t I want to share what I knew with those who were interested and had asked me for something like this?

I am one of a gajillion jewelry makers in the world, but I also know those who purchase from me have done so because something in my message resonated with them, same as any working artist. Yes, I am showing in this guide how I make my necklaces since that is what I know, but I am in no way endorsing that others turn around and copy my exact necklaces, or anyone elses.

In fact, there is a section in this guide about copywriting and my thoughts about inspiration vs. downright stealing. It’s a sensitive subject for me, and one I handle with care. I also wrote a section about telling our stories through our designs which is what I believe to be the heart of any creative based business.

I believe when anyone shares a technique they know it is with the intention that others will use it merely as a guide and in conjunction with their unique voice in a way that resonates with others and not to recreate what has already been created. I suppose in a way I see it in the same way I would use a recipe, which I see as simply a guide to get me started knowing I will modify it to suit my own taste.

Innovation is the root to all that expands – my motivation is that others will blow me away with their own creations based on something they learned from my guide perhaps.

Positive change is what happens when support replaces competition. I’ve been so blessed to be uplifted by the support of so many inspiring and wise artists in my community and I love to support artists in any way I can. It feels good and reminds me how truly connected we are.

Each one of us is creative and has ideas waiting to blossom in whatever form that may be. Why not partner and support each other, trusting that in doing so the well of creativity we each inherently hold within us won’t dry up by doing so. The well flows when we do. This kind of self trust is a constant lesson for me.

When artists teach other artists what they know it opens up a world filled with beautiful possibility. Rather than hold on to old patterns about hoarding secrets and fierce competition, sharing what we each know simply allows us all to create freely and authentically. Imagine the world we create when we open ourselves up to possibility and step out of fear.

This may sound idealistic and all hippy woo woo la la la to some, but it’s what I believe and how I consciously choose to walk through this life. I believe in possibility and supporting each other. I believe abundance can still thrive when values, soul and spirit are the foundation of a business, rather than “stealing the marketshare” or “killing the competition” as I recently read in a business blog.

I believe in trying things that I never thought I would and incorporating them in ways I can’t yet imagine. Perhaps for you, hand stamping is not something you have ever thought to try, but what if you stepped into the possibility of what having another skill in your creative toolbelt could do for your art? What could you create with a new skill? What would that look like for you? I invite you to find out.

I am offering my Bella Wish Guide to Hand Stamping at an introductory price of $25.00 until February 4^th when the price will go up as a way to honor it’s value. I offer this low price in exchange for two favors from you:

1) Tell me if/how it helped you by sending me a message to bellawish@me.com

2) Share it with others via Facebook, Twitter, etc., and, yes oh yes, offline too!

You may purchase yours at the introductory price here.

May it serve you well.

taken on Winter Solstice with my iPhone

Thank you to each of you who entered the giveaway. Reading your comments about what is feeding your soul also fed mine in many ways. It was also really fun to see so many Kelly Rae alumni – it seemed quite serendipitous considering her name is what allowed me to introduce myself to Catherine that night in a coffee house.

I was going to use the Random Number Generator to choose for me, but it didn’t feel right for some reason, not soulful enough I suppose, so I went old school and pulled your name from a bowl.

Congratulations Michelle!  You now have a spot in Catherine’s Soul*Full ecourse which starts this Monday, January 16th.

Michelle’s Comment:

Oh how cool!!
What is feeding my soul? Hmmmm…. Well most of all it is a dream that the universe gave me. Woo woo, I know! Lol. Anyway….in my beautiful dream, which was given to me during an exceptional stressful time, were dolphins that surrounded me and protected me. The feeling of love that these dolphins gave me has never left me. I am so grateful!

Your dream left me smiling as I often dream of whales. I love those dreams that stay with us. Dolphins are protectors and spiritual guides, it’s no wonder you are feeling so loved and held. Grateful that you shared your dream, not woo woo at all. May Catherine’s course feed you even more.

I have to admit it’s hard choosing one person for a giveaway, I wanted everyone to win. So the photo above is for each of you, you beautiful birds of flight.

Both my girls and I have been sick for over a week now, each day a circus of phlegm and a choir of coughing. We are going to continue to lie low until at least two of us are feeling better, but in the meantime I am honored to be hosting an extremely fabulous giveaway.

I met the lovely Catherine Just in a random chance meeting in 2010 while I was out one evening working in a cafe. I know it’s considered rude to eavesdrop, but I was intrigued by a conversation she and a friend were having and when that conversation turned to include names like Andrea Scher and Kelly Rae Roberts, well, my intrigue turned to introduction and I had to say hello. It turned out she was taking Kelly Rae’s Flying Lessons course (as was I) and we ended up talking until the cafe finally kicked us out.

Catherine is one of those people who is completely easy to just snuggle up and talk with for hours. As well as being a beautiful photographer, she also runs the Soul*Full e Course in addition to her yummy retreats – the Monterey retreat is calling my name! From her bio:

“The shift that took place years ago has given me a world of unlimited possibilities. My intention is to pay it forward to those who are seeking to live life in a more meaningful way. I encourage women to trust themselves, to create photographs that are infused with personal vision and to live life passionately. I believe that we are all valuable beings and that our stories matter.”

More about Catherine’s story can be found here.

Catherine is giving away one spot in her 6 week Soul*Full e course which starts on January 16th (a week from today!). Here is what her Soul*Full course includes:

• inspiring interviews with: Miguel Ruiz, Douglas Beasley, Andrea Scher, Beth Nicholls, Sheri Rosenthal, Aline Smithson and Susannah Conway.
• a variety of ways to connect and trust that the universe supports you.
• weekly photo exercises to help you notice the world around you in a new way.
• opportunities to focus on your physical well being, because… it feels good to feel good!
• connection with like-minded women.
• Mix all that with some healthy recipes, pampering, rest and rejuvenation and you’ve got the ingredients for a more Soul*Filled Life! Join us!

I have sitting near me a notebook which holds a written list of post ideas waiting to be published here.

And they will. In their time.

But this post is simply about seeing the ordinary beauty of today. If the tone of a new year is set by how it is brought in then let it begin. A pancake and pajama morning followed by a spontaneous visit to Griffith Observatory on a gorgeous day with my family. A small and rare moment of me-time with just my iPhone camera and 20 minutes of solo roaming, topped off with sprinkles of creative exercises in intention setting for the months ahead. Not a day that would be considered news-worthy in comparison to other days necessarily but a simple and easy day, alive with love and the four of us together embracing tiny moments of joy. If today sets the tone for the year… then, yes. Bring it. More, please.

Wishing you each a beautiful 2012 filled with inspired awakenings, sacred intention, big dreams, wild creativity, luxurious self care and unlimited possibility.

Click on any image to view it larger.

Follow me on Instagram @ stacyanne

Just a reminder that any and all images on this site are © to Stacy de la Rosa unless otherwise noted.

Working in retail means end of the year inventory. For most retailers this means going through every unsold item in comparison to what you started with, mostly in preparation for things like taxes, financial records and supply ordering.

It’s not a part of my job I usually enjoy but this year I am approaching it differently. Mostly because I am simplifying my Bella Wish shop and what I will be offering in 2012. Any remaining necklaces I have left from 2011 will be listed as ready-to-ship or sale items over the next couple of months to create space for expansion into other creative avenues in 2012.

As this year comes to a close I decided to take inventory of my life as well – everything from my home, to how I run my business, to my relationships and look closer at what is and what is no longer working.

Inventory can take quite a while to complete depending on how deep you want to dive in, but I wanted to share a couple of things which worked, and didn’t work, for me in 2011:

What didn’t work:

Sugar: I love it. I crave it. And everytime I eat it I regret it. It does all sorts of wacky things to my body and it makes me feel awful.

Where we live: Yes, I am grateful to have a roof over our head and we have an amazing view of the city from our hilltop abode and I thought I could remain happy in our little Bohemian area of Los Angeles, but when I gave birth everything shifted. Now nothing about our tiny apartment works. It’s not safe, there is no earth for tiny toes to dig in or a small garden to cultivate, and no amount of me reading or thinking about families in Europe who live in tiny places and still make it work helps. Simply put, after 14 years here it’s time to move on. The end.

Not asking for help: Someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Every week for most of last year, I would try and fit the equivalent of a 40-hour work week into one 8-hour Saturday. It took me all year and a therapist to realize that it simply doesn’t work and I am practicing insanity. Trying to grow a business, raise two babies, being a wife and a housekeeper all mostly alone is complete insanity. For me to grow my vision, 2012 will be the year of asking for help in the form of part time childcare, monthly housekeepers, a virtual assistant and possibly a web designer.

Made to order necklaces: The foundation for Bella Wish was based on creating custom and made-to-order necklaces. This was a way for me to infuse energy into each piece especially for whoever would be wearing it. I love this about my business, it was an important part of my service. But I finally realized that it’s not the best way to honor my time and family. It takes an incredible amount of work to make everything to order and design custom pieces. I have a huge dream that I named this year. Once I did define the bigger dream it became clear that this part of my vision would need to be released as a way to honor myself and create space.

Stolen moments: It’s easy to become a workaholic when you a) are passionate about your vision and b) work from home. Because of this I am never really away from my work which also means it’s too easy to not structure a work schedule for myself, instead trying to squeeze work moments in after my children go to bed or are engaged in play. Allowing for blocks of focused work time and even larger blocks of focused family time releases the stress of not creating structure around my days.

Scarcity thinking: My mother and I spent a signifcant amount of time cleaning out my grandmothers house when she passed away years ago. Each time I would open a cupboard stuff would spill out: gallon size jugs of refillable hand soap, countless bottles of moisturizer, years old food living in a second freezer in her garage, gallon size bottles of vodka. I understand that she lived through the depression and this was the way of many who were a part of her generation. As someone who has a difficult relationship with money (something money and I are working on reconciling) scarcity thinking is something I am looking to release entirely so that I may fully walk in trust that I will always have all that I need.

What did work:

Kale: Everytime I eat it I feel like a superhero. Kale does for my body the complete opposite of what sugar imposes. I know there are those who tend to shy away from it but I have found some ways to prepare kale that have me craving it daily. I am working on a post with a list of yummy kale recipes.

Seeing a therapist: I used to think that I could process stuff on my own, but when I realized that I was processing some of my same issues over and over they started to become a shadow space for me. Once I was able to recognize this I asked for help. Whatever their title – therapist, life coach, business coach, or impartial and trusted friend – acknowledging that I wasn’t able to process certain things on my own has provided a few major breakthroughs for me this year in a way that no amount of journaling was ever going to.

Having live-in tech support: I do not take this for granted. My computer is my livelihood and having a partner who keeps me up and running with the latest and greatest has me spilling over with gratitude.

Carving out space for me time and self care: Preferably in the morning before everyone else wakes up. It doesn’t happen often but those quiet mornings where I can greet the sun, sip something warm and inspire some creativity before I put on my mama hat sets the tone for my entire day. I am a completely awesome, peace-filled, joy-creating mama when I take care to meet my own needs.

Circling with women: As introduced to me through Erin Darcy and Pixie Campbell. A reminder each day that we are never ever alone on the journey. Bowing with gratitude.

Road trips: Escaping from my environment where everything from the laundry to the dishes seems to scream at me, I find the road a peaceful quiet place to retreat, with or without my two muses in the backseat.

The voice memos feature on my iPhone: Inspiration knows not of time and shows up when it does. Because I am usually driving or holding children, I can’t always get to a pen + paper. Voice memos allows me to release the idea from my mind when it enters.

Engaging with my children: Working from home for me means that I am rarely not working and I find that when the insanity sets in (see what doesn’t work above) that I can easily disengage and try to multitask with my children. Allowing myself to be completely present for them and with them is sacred. I know this. They are priority one. I recognize this time in their lives as precious and fleeting and I strive to savor each moment with them. I feel blessed to be in a position where I can be their primary caretaker each day.

Dating my husband: Jimmy and I went on three dates last year. Three. Which is an upgrade from the zero dates we went on the first two years of Isabella’s life. Our first date out as parents was awful because we had forgotten how to connect with each other. The second one was one of the best dates we have ever had and the third one, which just happened a couple weeks ago, prompted my husband to set up a monthly date night. I love my husband. I am attracted to him. I love listening to his thoughts and ideas. Date nights connect us to who we are as a couple. And who we are is a couple who have their struggles like everyone else but who also love, respect and support each other tremendously and know how to make each other laugh, even after 14 years and two children.

Photography: Photography grounds and centers me in a way that nothing else can. It’s a form of meditation for me. I can actually document my growth through what I see through the lens – and though I love my therapist, I can think of no better therapy than when I am documenting how I see the world.

I remember once asking my Dad, who is passionate about golf, what it was about the game that he loved so much. He told me that in addition to the feeling of peace being surrounded by green and nature brings that it was the connection between the ball and the club on that one shot, after a thousand, that you simply knew was going into the hole. You could feel it in your body when it happened and pure joy would take over. I understand what he means so deeply now as it is the same with photographers.

I know my photography is something I will be diving so much deeper into next year. 2011 was definitely the year of the iPhone for me, but I am ready to reconnect with my Canon in a big way.

Finding my message: Though I never had a formal one, my mission statement for Bella Wish is about empowering women and asking them, myself included, to awaken to the beauty that already lives within and around us. It’s a theme I will be carrying into 2012 in whatever areas I pursue. Connecting to the beauty in front of me is my message as well as my soul work, I am so happy to have finally connected to it.

Inspired by all the new year has to offer us as well as the calendar being offered by Irene Nam, a Paris based photographer whose images and heart move me, I am offering a free downloadable and printable 2012 calendar using a selection of iPhone prints that I captured throughout 2011 as a small token of gratitude for being part of such a beautiful online community – one that continually inspires me and allows me to keep spreading my wings.

If you wish to follow me on Instagram, my username is stacyanne. If you aren’t on Instagram you can still follow my feed here.  

You may download your calendar here: 2012 Calendar.

The light flows from their branches.
And they call again,
“It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come into the world to do this,
to go easy,
to be filled with light,
and to shine.” 

~ Mary Oliver

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A couple of weeks ago I was invited to gather with a group of women. The intent of our coming together was to partake in a releasing ceremony led by SouLodge caretaker, Pixie Campbell. Part of the ceremony was that we agree to be filmed (by the illuminating Anne Carmack) as a means to hopefully reach thousands of women globally through sharing it and to promote a collective ceremony of circling, release and renewal heading into 2012. If you are following my On The Road series over on the Wish Studio website, I wrote a bit about unpacking for the journey there as it ties into this releasing ceremony.

Mother of All Releasings Ceremony: Winter Solstice, 2012 from Pixie Campbell on Vimeo.

I’ve known Pixie for a while. First through her art which I understood and connected with immediately. Then as a friend – the kind of friend who elevates you and reminds you of what you already know to be true. And most recently as teacher/guide/keeper of ceremony and sacred fire – the kind of teacher who elevates you and reminds you of what you already know to be true.

I’ve participated in both the summer and autumn sessions of SouLodge* and while I haven’t yet written about them here, if you know me offline, you know anytime SouLodge is mentioned I’m all, “Oh my goddess, game changer. Truly.” I could write pages about what SouLodge has meant to me but if I could sum up the experience in one sentence, it would probably be this… Connecting with nature’s wisdom has allowed me to step fully into trust, and now that I know what trust looks and feels like, there is no regressing into past habits and old beliefs.

I mention this because the day we gathered for Pixie’s winter soltice video shoot I was reminded of this trust. A group of 12 women, many of us having met for the first time, spent some solitary moments gathering everything we wanted to release as we step into 2012, filling squares of tattered black fabric with rolled and folded scraps of paper, lavender, sage and tobacco. We then circled together, connected by hands and by energy, by earth and by fire, awakening to the truth that while our stories may be different, much of what we want to release and create in our lives is not.

Prior to this year, I had never participated in a ceremony of this sort before and what I have been blessed to discover, having now sat in a few circles, is that when women gather with purpose and a trusted facilitator (it matters not if that gathering is in a virtual environment or a physical one), the circle becomes a place of strength, support, vulnerability, truth, nourishment, beauty and power… and if practiced under the light of the moon, possibly a place of wild. This video is an invitation to circle with women, either in the flesh or a virtual setting. It’s also an invitation to create a circle if you can’t find one to join.

This sacred day of release was dedicated to exploring our dark shadowy places as a means to name them so we may bid them adieu in preperation for the year ahead. I believe there is something so beautiful about illuminating that which lives in shadows. To face the very things that make us messy and imperfect and real and human, to see the shields that often protect us, allow us to survive at times or keep us in a state of illusion. Our scary places are often easier to fight or ignore because let’s face it, the dark can be a very scary place to explore, and an even scarier place to reside when we get stuck there.

I believe it’s the reason why New Year’s resolutions are so popular, it’s so much easier to make a list of goals each year, you know the ones that so many of us share – this year I will lose ten pounds, be more organized and pay off my debt! – then it is to ask the questions and reveal the source of why we carry those same ten pounds around, struggle to stay organized and don’t know how to comfortably fill our bank accounts. A trap I have easily fallen into in years past.

But I have to say, when we connect to the truth that we are not alone on our unique paths, that we are supported, even in the quietest and loneliest of times, which is what circling with others provides, that letting go is constant and we are allowed to gather the best and leave the rest, I see that we can break the chains of our past patterns, and transform what lies in those dark spaces, acknowledging them for the teachers they are. The more I begin to understand this, the more I connect how shadow and light work together in cycles and circles, the patterns we each experience of what it means to gather and release, ebb and flow, ongoing and with love. The easier it becomes to trust that in my darkest moments, the light will find it’s way. The easier it becomes to trust myself to find my own way through the dark. Let me be clear when I say that connecting with our darker places is not at all easy, I am simply finding that it gets easier when I trust that I will eventually find the light and make it through to the other side.

Silently walking around the property where we gathered that day, iPhone camera in my hand, my heart honoring each of us as we connected with the darker parts within, I couldn’t help but see light everywhere. It was literally reaching out to us through windows and doorways, dancing between the leaves of the trees, circling with us. I was reminded in those moments that light always finds a way in. I found myself wanting to capture every crack and crevice where it seeped in, so much so that my iPhone battery finally gave out. But I wanted to share a few favorite light-filled images from that day along with the video for anyone who may find their way here. Photos can be enlarged by clicking on them.

This Thursday, December 22nd, I will be heading to the sea with a sweet mama friend to release another bundle into the fire – it seems the more we allow ourselves to release, the more we find to release. Because the solstice falls on a weekday, we will have our children with us and will bring a feast to nourish ourselves and allow plenty of time for play after our small ceremony. I will be holding a space for each of us that day who consciously choose to throw it all into the collective fire, awakened and ready for 2012.

*Pixie is giving away two spots for the winter session of SouLodge. Details can be found here. 

She flies with her own wings

I am slowly re-entering my daily life again after a full week surrounded by family for the Thanksgiving holidays. It always seems to take a day or two to get back into a groove, yes?

I didn’t want to wait too long to make this announcement but this will be the last week that I will be taking custom and made-to-order pendants in my Bella Wish shop. I will accept orders through midnight December 2nd only. After that I will be listing the ready-made necklaces I currently have in stock along with sale items – just in time for the holidays. These will remain listed until all have found new homes.

After going back and forth for several months and being blessed to have a wise caretaker in the process, I am allowing intuition to tell me it’s the right time to release that which needs releasing and create space for my creative growth in 2o12. As much as I love my little Etsy shop and those of you have who have found and supported it and the energy it has created, I find that most of my limited work time is dedicated to making and packaging orders. And while I have nothing but bow-down-to-the-floor gratitude for even having steady orders which is the goal of having an Etsy shop, I also wish to honor my need for creative expansion and exploration.

In 2010 I was blessed with the arrival of my second sweet daughter which expanded my family and opened my heart even wider, Mia’s teachings and lessons have awakened my creative path in a somewhat different way than it did with my first daughter, Isabella.

I won’t be closing my Etsy shop entirely, but I will be simplifying my entire line for 2012, which includes setting up shop here on my website. I will share more of what this means in the next couple of weeks as it begins to take shape – strangely it feels a bit reminiscent of those nervously excited feelings I experienced when I first launched Bella Wish.

My hope is that by creating more time for myself I will be able to create value in a way that is different than my jewelry, beginning with my Bella Wish Guide to Hand Stamping and my free iPhonegraphy tutorial, as well as writing and teaching opportunities.

The interesting thing I noticed is that the necklaces for 2012 truly reflect where I am right now which is in alignment with the philosophy of my Bella Wish shop – my designs reflect my own inspiration, lessons and mantras.

I am trusting the process that this decision to let go of a large part of what I created with Bella Wish is the right one for where I am currently at on my path. Since having made the decision to do so, it certainly feels that way – though it can be argued that I might be crazy to release that which currently creates the majority of my income to pursue avenues that are currently providing no income. This is where the trust part of following what I feel in my heart comes in. The fire has been lit and I am already seeing the open doorways that lie waiting ahead if I am willing to take the leap and not look back. *sigh* Breathing deeply through it all.

If you see anything currently in my shop, or in the sold orders section, that you are wanting, please use your choice of coupon code HOLIDAY10 or FREESHIP for 10% off or free shipping on any order before December 2nd.

At this time I am not offering any more of my very favorite I SHOOT LIKE A GIRL necklaces. These have become a best seller in my shop and I will miss making them, but I can let you in on a fun secret… they are being redesigned for 2012 (Yay!), and I am also working with an amazing illustrator to help outfit us in I SHOOT LIKE A GIRL t-shirts for next year as well. Double Yay!!!

I have also just listed WORD OF THE YEAR pendants which will be the only custom orders I will be offering through the end of February 2012. I have a few words in mind for my own pendant. When thinking of your own word, I invite you to think about what you are ready to leave behind with this year and what you wish to create in the coming year as taught by my sister and friend, Pixie who continuously teaches me to consciously connect with spirit.

Thank you to all of you who have supported my wee shop these past few years, this community is the reason indie businesses and creative pathways such as my own are able to thrive. When I count my blessings, this amazing community is always at the top. When I think back to the days of doing soulless work based on someone else’s values and how I now can clearly see how we each truly have the power to create our lives and work based on our own values, I know it is because I witness others creating conscious connection in their own lives. Community is where I find inspiration, wisdom and courage.

From conception to birth and nurturing and growth, the doors Bella Wish has opened and the gifts that it has brought are something I will carry with me and treasure always…. and will continue to do so as it transitions into something new.

It always comes back to trust.

On an old bookcase turned toy shelf sits a mason jar that holds an assortment of random crayons. This jar comes off the shelf pretty regularly when things call for color as they often do.

Though I must admit, more often than not, Isabella has this peculiar habit of peeling the paper off the crayons rather than using them to color. The first time I saw the huge pile of colored scraps she left behind I thought it looked like confetti and I had the idea that it might be fun to make something out of them, you know, someday. So I gathered them up and put all the torn pieces in a bag. I continued to repeat this cycle as did she… Isabella peeling crayon wrappers and me gathering them up for someday.

This past Friday we were in need of a fun project. I thought this would be a good day to break out the gel medium and the colored scraps of paper and that is what we did. It looked as if someday had arrived.

I had some blank canvasses that I have been holding onto forever (patiently waiting for their own someday) and grabbed one, along with some gel medium, paints, the bag of scraps, an old bedsheet, some brushes, some mood music and two eager-to-get-messy children and we gathered round for some play.

What we ended up with was our first truly collaborative painting. Usually when we gather around to paint we are working on paper creating individual masterpieces. But today I grabbed one canvas for the three of us to share. I brushed on the gel medium and then we each painted the canvas (and various body parts) with color. Once we were happy with the amount of paint spilled and spread, I poured the paper scraps over the painting, allowing them to simply rain onto the sticky surface and invited the girls to simply press them down into the canvas and glue, arranged however they wanted.

We were each incredibly messy and also incredibly in the moment. All three of us in serious play mode. No photo documentation of the process, I was fully in it right along with them. There was paint not only on the canvas, but also in hair, on feet, and in the sofa cushions. At first, amidst the mess, I wondered if this was such a good idea, there were tiny bits of colored paper and glue and paint literally everywhere… and as each of our fingers kept pressing away at each colored bit, I looked closer and realized this was a very good idea.

Our painting had begun to take shape and it gradually started to come together in a strange and beautiful way. Isabella found some broken bits of crayon at the bottom of the bag and we added those to our masterpiece and with one final coat of gel medium to hold it all in place, we set the piece aside to dry while the girls got in the bathtub and I borrowed some of their bathwater to scrub the sofa cushions.

As we played and the colors took over the white of the canvas, I realized something. I had been holding onto those white canvasses for so many years, waiting for the wrong kind of someday. The kind of someday attached to outcome and expectation that if I were to ever apply color to them that they would need to BE something other than just play. The kind of someday that brought up the triggers of if I were to apply paint, it would somehow be wrong because I wasn’t doing it the right way. Those blank canvasses represented the teachings of my past that I was still carrying all these years later.

I recalled a memory of being in elementary school where we had an art teacher visit and teach us how to draw fish. She was grading us on how well ours looked like hers and my rainbow fish was nowhere near her perfect orange goldfish. I remember she held up my picture to the entire class as an example of what not to do, and there it was – one defining moment in a child’s life who grew up carrying around the same blank canvasses for twenty years for fear of doing it wrong, a constant example of what not to do… though I have painted some fish since then. {click here to see}

The more I witness my children, the more they re-teach me what it feels like to just play without fear of doing something wrong, or expectation of doing something right. At the same time it makes me want to follow them to every future art class they ever take to protect them from anyone who may make an example of their rainbow fish. Though I know that it is just not possible, and that their experiences will be so different than my own growing up, I also know I can at least continue to create and nurture a home environment where they are free to just play without judgement.

Perhaps it’s not worthy of a gallery showing, but who cares? Those tiny scraps of paper and paint that now cover one of those blank canvasses represents the release of what I was carrying that day in elementary school. I am so in love with our first mother/daughters collaborative painting and five more white canvasses are now ready for their someday. This one act of play has inspired me to make somedays (both big and small) happen more often and play bigger. Color and play and mess is good. So so good.

I was blessed to be able to sit near the sea over the weekend, practicing self-care and conscious connection in a very deep way which I will share more about soon.

While taking some photos I was breathing in the tranquil peace of the moment, feeling very blessed to be standing right where I was and wanting to share a part of that feeling. So I made this for you as a way to bring you there too.

As we enter into the often stress-inducing craziness of the holiday season, may you find a moment in your busy days ahead to practice a bit of self-care, just sit quietly and breathe.

* I am still getting used to having a video camera on my phone so didn’t think to shoot this horizontally. I guess that means I need to visit again soon to make another video.

Until then, I would suggest hitting the four arrows on the lower right corner of the video to enlarge for greater impact. And don’t forget to have your volume up. Enjoy.